So this is not the most flattering photograph of me.

I don’t recall the exact date this photograph was taken, but judging by the visible pockmark on my forehead (a battle scar from contracting the chickenpox at a late age), I would wager I was at least 12 years old at the time.

I didn’t like getting my picture taken at this time of my life. I had crazy, unruly hair, bushy eyebrows on the verge of becoming a unibrow, and my teeth jutted out from years of sucking my thumb so I was sorely in need of braces.

After the chicken pox, I was thankful that puberty had spared me and left me with otherwise blemish-free skin, but for most of my teenage years I didn’t feel good in my skin, and I would carry that insecurity for many years to come.

“A picture is worth a thousand words” — Someone that got the game, but I was still learning

Looking through my old photographs, I realize I was never good at posing, at playing up my best angles. In most instances I was either slouching, rolling my shoulders, or making a terrible pout that would have made #duckface look appealing.

This uncomfortable feeling with being in the camera has never really gone away, so I always feel awkward and self-conscious whenever the lens is in my direction, thus I often sabotage the shot.

This is a more recent photograph. As you can tell by my body language, I still have not mastered posing, and I still feel immensely uncomfortable in front of the camera.

But I will admit, this a much better picture. The hair, makeup, and lighting are a lot more professional. And even if I don’t feel it internally, I can tell externally that I’ve spent the last 15 years working to improve my physical appearance so that I could get to this point.

Sometimes it helps to look at an old photograph, to gaze upon a literal snapshot of the past and take mental stock on what has changed. I may still have that awkwardness, but what has changed over a decade?

• I graduated high school and university and found a full-time job
• Said full-time job has afforded me a disposable income to get my hair done by a stylist
• I’m in a committed relationship, with an amazing man who booked a photo shoot for my birthday
• No more unibrow!

It’s so easy to forget how far you have come when you compare what you’ve accomplished from one year to the next. Sometimes all it takes is a look at embarrassing childhood photographs to see just how far you’ve come, to go “Oh yeah. I did all that. I rock.”

And sometimes, it’s just fun to revel in your “adorkable” years.