People Don’t Notice What You Think They Do

I was in the elevator at my work, and one other woman was sharing it with me.

I became aware that she was looking at me, and her eyes looked to be scanning me; I immediately bristled.

At work, I wear a pair of black Sam Edelman ballet flats. While comfortable, these shoes have seen better days; the leather is noticeably worn at the toes, and the heel is starting to separate.

I derided myself for not upping my shoe game, for placing comfort before a corporate image.

Then the woman opened her mouth: “Your blouse is fun….and your pearls!”

I forgot to mention: aside from raggedy ragamuffin flats, I was also wearing colorful tights, a striped skirt, and a black collared blouse with pearl accents at the sleeves. She didn’t notice my shoe at all!

As I thanked her for the compliment and exited the elevator to my floor, I came to an important realization:

People don’t notice what you think they do.

This is a mantra I need take with me and remind myself of all the time.

We may work on a project and create something of value, hoping it will incur a ton of accolades and praise….only for it to barely conjure a splash.

This can work the other way as well; we can make a mistake or do something that we wish could have gone better, only for it to go totally undetected by what we think are a hyper-critical audience.

In fact, usually our most unforgiving critic is ourselves.

When I write my blog, or when I’m writing my manuscript, I’m hoping that what I write resonates with readers, that they will appreciate my humour or the sly little nods and references I  add to my writing. But that’s not always the case.

Conversely, though I thought my short story “Waiting Room” needed more time to be developed, it was still accepted for publication.

Sometimes, there’s just no way to know what other people are thinking, or how they will respond to what we present to them. And that’s the beautiful thing about the world: that every one of us is different.

I’m often reminded of that scene from Avengers: Endgame, when a broken Scarlett Witch unleashes her rage on Thanos:

This is why I once again emphasize the importance of engaging in projects because they are something that YOU want to do.

Not because you will make a lot of money (you probably won’t).

Not because it will garner you fame and recognition (it probably won’t).

In these uncertain times of the coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, when we are encouraged to self-isolate and to practice social distancing, now may be the perfect opportunity to indulge in practices that enrich your life and benefit you and only you. Here are some suggestions:

• Write a short story
• Write fanfiction on Wattpad
• Read a book (or finish one you started)
• Listen to a podcast or audiobook
• 100% a video game (or play those that you bought but barely started)
• Binge-watch Netflix (literally the ONLY time I would ever endorse the practice of binge-watching is in the wake of a pandemic. By the way, have you seen Love is Blind? #justiceforrory)
• Try a new recipe
• Clean the house
• Take up journaling

The possibilities are endless. Just remember that with whatever you choose to do, make sure you are doing it not to be noticed, but to better yourself.

Thoughts? Have you ever had a problem with other people’s opinions of you? And what are you doing to keep busy while stuck at home during the coronavirus / COVID-19 pandemic? Leave your answers in the comments below!