Make Your Goals Like an Adult Film Star

Now that I have your attention…

I know it’s only November, but I’m already knee-deep in planning for the New Year.

I think it’s a common fallacy that we have to start working towards our goals at the start of January. We have our resolutions locked and loaded and as soon as ball drops at the end of December 31st; at the start of January 1st, we are gung-ho in accomplishing our dreams…

At least, for the first couple the weeks. Then reality sets in, coupled with the fact that sheer motivation can only take you so far. As a result, most people abandon their resolutions by Blue Monday, the saddest, most depressing day of the year.

That is exactly why I no longer make resolutions. I still make goals, but behind each goal I set an intentional action plan. I create systems so that I’m guaranteed to see progress toward what I want to accomplish.

So what are your goals? Are they small and conservative? Or are they bold and a little outrageous, like Danny’s list from Cats Don’t Dance?

In other words: is your goal like an adult film star?

Stay with me on this: Is it big, hairy, and audacious? I like to imagine lofty goals as an imaginary confident adult film star. Let’s call him Harry Audacious. You can bet your sweet bippy that Harry’s confident; he can do anything he puts his mind to. Why? Because Mr. Audacious knows that to achieve a goal it has to be a SMART goal.

Specific

Is your goal specific? If your goal is to lose weight, don’t say “my goal is to lose weight”. That’s too vague. Instead, say something along the lines of “I want to decrease my BMI” or, “My goal is to gain more muscle in my arms”.

Measurable

Do you want to write a book? Great! How would you measure progress toward that goal? What’s your KPI — your key performance indicator? You could say you wish to write 50,000 words — the average length of a small novel — or that you intend to write at least 2,000 words at least for the next 6 months.

Achievable

The best hairy, audacious goals, regardless of how big, are still achievable. Saying you want to save up a billion dollars for retirement and you only work part-time is a tad lofty, and you’re just setting yourself up for failure. A more achievable strategy would be to put away about 20% of every paycheque towards a retirement fund or investment, or to start looking for a job that offers full-time hours.

Relevant

Confession: in 2018, I was obsessed with learning the dance Bruno Mars did at the Grammys.

For two months I would go to the gym early in the morning and practice this dance in an attempt to recreate it.

But I am not a dancer; I’m probably one of the most uncoordinated people you will ever meet. And yet I wanted to do this dance. Why? Was it relevant to any other goal I had at the time? And even if I succeeded? Was I just going to break it out at social gatherings?

I eventually realized that the goal didn’t really align to my true passion — being a writer — and didn’t even benefit any my current goals for that year — running a 5K. I a goal isn’t serving you, drop it like a bad habit.

Timely

“A dream is a goal without a deadline.”

— Napoleon Hill

YOU HAVE TO SET A DEADLINE. Be it a month, 6 months, a year out, there has to be a definitive finish line to what you want to accomplish.

Parkinson’s Law dictates that “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” If you have a school project and your deadline is one week, then you’ll take a week to complete the project (assuming you don’t want to fail).

Conversely, if you set a goal, but set no clear end date, then you will never accomplish said goal because your deadline is infinity.

And you may have resistance to setting a deadline, for fear that you won’t reach that target and you’ll be demoralized. That’s fair; my suggestion to you would be to re-evaluate how much time you would actually need to complete your goal (remember the Achievable step).

And if you still don’t succeed? Well, at least you’ve made progress and are farther along than you would have been had no deadline been set.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

— Les Brown

If you’ve been following me for some time, you’re probably well aware that my goal is to complete a young adult novel. I’ve accomplished a lot of other smaller goals this year, and am 4 weeks away from my goal of writing a post every week in 2021.

But I haven’t been using SMART strategies toward my big, hairy audacious goal of writing a novel. That’s why I’ll be re-evaluating my writing focus so that I have a product to share with literary agents by the end of 2022.

Specific — I want to be querying my manuscript to literary agents by the end of 2022

Measurable — I will write at least 1,000 words every week (totally obtainable, as I was able to do it for 2021 for my website)

Achievable — I want to get at least one positive response from a literary agent by the end of 2022

Relevant — I want to save at least $600 to pay for an editor for the completed manuscript

Timely — I want to have the second draft of my novel completed by the end of June 2022

So think of your goals? Are they big? Would they make Harry Audacious blush? If so, then you’re on the right track. Good luck.

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