I was thinking about children’s books the other day, and randomly, I thought about a book that had an indelible mark on my young psyche.

When I was a child, I had a lot of Sesame Street-themed books, a lot of them were from the Sesame Street Storybook Club: some that stick out in my mind are The House of Seven Colors, Don’t Forget the Oatmeal! and Special Delivery. (My next-door neighbor had Big Bird’s Busy Book and I was infinitely jealous).

Anyway, one book in particular crossed my memory, and rather than feel nostalgic, I was hit with an immediate wave of anxiety: Grover Goes to School.

To my knowledge, this book is no longer in circulation, but there a few used copies floating around online. I was able to find a video of someone reading the story on Youtube:

Here’s a brief synopsis of the tale: a young preschool/kindergarten-age Grover is excited about his very first day of school.

He comes prepared with brand-new school supplies and a delicious lunch and is eager to make new friends.

So he goes to school and almost IMMEDIATELY this kid Truman starts grifting poor Grover out of all his nice things. Grover trades his brand-new crayons for an old, broken toy truck, and his delicious jelly sandwich for a less appetizing baloney one.

The story culminates with Grover exploding with emotion at all the injustice he had to endure, but in the end he succeeds in making some new friends and reports his day to his mother.

When I was a child, I remember feeling ill at ease with the conclusion of Grover Goes to School. The ending didn’t sit right with me.

Reflecting upon it, I think the reason why the book rubbed me the wrong way was because at such a tender age, Grover Goes to School had the audacity to teach me my first real lessons about life.

That it’s not fair.

That people will take advantage of you.

That you can’t always get what you want.

And so, as an adult grown woman, I’ll go over some of the actionable advice that can be gleaned from this early reader Sesame Street book.

1. Don’t Be a People Pleaser

Early in the story, Grover is determined to make friends with everyone at school. “I will try hard to make everyone like me,” he declares.

Well, in his effort to have everyone like him, he put the priorities and needs of others ahead of his own. As a result, he missed out on cookies, he gave up his brand-new crayons for a junky toy, and he didn’t get to play hopscotch during recess.

In our own lives, sometimes we think it’s best not to rock the boat. But remember: you can’t please everyone. Don’t jeopardize your integrity at the expense of pleasing others; you’ll likely come out with bad feelings in the end.

2. Learn to Say No

In Grover Goes to School, a lot of problems could have been avoided for poor Grover if he had just learned to say “no”.

As a by-product of his people-pleasing tendencies, Grover was afraid that if he voiced his authentic feelings, the other children in his class wouldn’t like him.

But Grover had this viewpoint challenged when he decided to push back on the other children’s requests. When Molly asked to marbles, Grover instead asked if they could play jacks. When Bill asked Grover to trade his brand-new pencil case, Grover declined, and yet the relationship was still maintained.

There’s a lot of power in the word no; perhaps that’s why we’re so afraid of wielding it, even if it’s in our best interest. Saying yes to everyone can deny you the opportunity to get what you truly want out of life, so use the word “no” to be one’s true, authentic self.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Back to Grover’s initial goal: he wanted to be friends with everyone. Although he fell short of that goal by the end of the story, he still made two new friends (he even got to teach one of them how to play jacks!)

Grover didn’t get everything he wanted by the end of the book, but he was still okay. And I think that’s the most pivotal message of Grover Goes to School.

In real life, things aren’t always going to go your way. In real life, not everything is going to work in your favour. That’s why it’s important to roll with the punches and take joy in celebrating the wins, however small they may be.

So, to recap:

1. Learn to Say No

2. Don’t Be a People Pleaser

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Do you agree? Did you grow up with the Sesame Street storybooks? And be honest: Are you Team Grover or Team Elmo?