Halloween is just around the corner, but thanks to 2020, the whole year has felt like a roller coaster of fear, excitement, and anxiety.
The city of Toronto has all but cancelled trick-or-treating, but that’s still no reason to shirk your God-given right to dress up on this, the most holiest of holidays.
If you haven’t yet given any thought to this year’s costume, here are a few ideas to kickstart your creative juices for Halloween 2020.
Joe Exotic
Tiger King, the surprise Netflix hit offered up one of the first legitimate costume inspirations of 2020. Just find a two-toned blonde mullet, a tacky sense of style, and a total disregard for the sanctity of human and animal life and you’ve nailed the look. If you own a cat, it may also help to roll around its litter box to really hammer down the authenticity.
Hollywood Box Office
This one should be fairly simple: think paltry and disappointing. Attach a large cardboard box to your person, then fill it with miscellaneous items. Some examples include wadded up tissue paper, a handful of change, a Troll doll, a sponge, and a rubik’s cube with a sheet of paper that simply says “Huh?!” (an apt approximation of audience’s reaction to Christopher Nolan’s Tenet)
Garfield, Speak to Me!
All you need is a collared shirt, a Garfield plushie, and access to a steamroller. This was a last-minute addition to my list, but honestly, my Twitter feed has been taken over by this meme, and I couldn’t resist.
The Ocean Spray Guy
To recreate the look of this Tiktok viral personality is an oversized grey hoodie, you’ll need a bottle of Ocean Spray cranberry cocktail, a skateboard, and a tiny Bluetooth speaker affixed to your person blaring Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams”. My money’s on the assumption that any forty-something man that succumbed to temptation to purchase the remastered Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 + 2 game will already have these items in their repertoire.
John Pence during the 2020 Vice Presidential Debate
Spray paint your hair metallic silver and stick a comically oversized fly to your chrome dome. Also answer every question directed your way with “God Bless America”.
It’s You, But 2020
This is just basically you, depending on different accessories.
With a mask: a bloated, heavier, depressed version of yourself from January.
Without mask: a veritable card-carrying COVID-iot, eager to welcome the cloying, constrictive embrace of coronavirus with open arms.
Bonus
Since social gatherings are still verboten, why not schedule a Zoom party with friends and family and virtually carve a pumpkin together in your homes?
Okay—this idea was not mine. It was actually inspired by the short film “Pumpkin Movie” on the CBC. I recommend everyone watch it, it’s creepy but not in the way you’d expect.
What other ideas do you have to salvage Halloween for 2020? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!
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