a woman at a cafe writing in a book

3 Tips for How to be More Patient as a Writer

Photo by Steven Lasry on Unsplash

I’d like to offer an update on the writing process with my novel.

I completed draft 2.5(?) in December, and because I have an irrational fear of the Internet blowing up and deleting all the things from the cloud, I created the first physical copy of my manuscript for safekeeping.

It’s suggested you take time off after writing a draft, so I spent the first two months of 2021 actively avoiding UNTITLED SAILOR MOON YA NOVEL, and kept it out of sight and out of mind.

During this period, I’ve kept busy by taking part in a few writing competitions. I’ve decided to give writing platform Vocal.media the old college go and submitted an entry for their ‘Little Black Book’ Challenge (you can read it here).

I’ve also participated yet again in the annual Toronto Star Short Story Contest. The deadline is March 1, and since entries are only accepted via post, I’ve sent mine off by mail a week earlier, on a Monday.

When I mailed my short story, I included a self-addressed postcard, as proof of receipt of my entry. As the week wore on, I found myself getting increasingly anxious.

I live in the same city as the contest; according to the Canada Post website, it should take 2 business days for my entry to arrive, and at least another 2 business days before I would receive anything.

Despite this knowledge, as Friday came and went and my mailbox was empty, I started to rage inside: Where the @#$% is my postcard?!

I recognize this response is irrational. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have become impatient in my journey as a writer.

It’s not just with this contest; lately, I’ve felt very frustrated with my lack of patience in other aspects of my life:

Why is my blog growing so slowly?

Why am I getting no views on Medium or Vocal.Media?

Why have my Google Ads not made any money?

Why is it taking so long for my novel to be done/perfect?

I’ve taken on this entitlement for instant gratification, and frankly I don’t like it. It makes me stressed, discouraged, and downright cranky.

Therefore, I’ve decided to take a step back and reflect on some of the practices I’ve undertaken to rebuild my patience as a writer and to not be so hung up on getting to my goals as quickly as possible.

Hopefully these tips help you as well, if you are struggling with impatience in your writing journey.

Find a Distraction

I was getting obsessed with checking the stats of my site, to the point I was doing it multiple times a day. Rather than focus on an outcome I can’t control, I decided to devote my attention to something I COULD control: creative writing.

Lately, I’ve been using Wattpad and Vocal.Media as an outlet for some fun writing I’ve been doing, not connected to any project or competition.

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Elite & Tawdry is a silly story that I pants in my spare time; I literally make it up as I go along.

I have no real expectations for it, but it’s a fun little distraction to let me think about something else and get invested in the adventures I want to take my characters. If you’re interested (and want a cringey laugh), here is a link to Elite & Tawdry.

Delete Apps from Your Phone

I uninstalled Medium app from my phone; it just became too convenient to click and check my stats, which remained stagnant most of the time.

I wasn’t getting any pleasure out of the activity, and felt like I was wasting valuable time with the practice, so I deleted the app outright.

Of course, if I’m feeling really desperate, I can still check my stats by going on my Chrome app or by just logging in on my laptop, but by forcing myself to make extra steps, it makes it less likely that I’ll follow through and make myself miserable by obsessing over my progress.

Retrain Your Habits

Presently, I’m listening to the audiobook version of The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

One of the takeaways I’ve gotten from the book is how habits are formed out of three steps: cue, routine, reward.

First, a cue triggers us into action (i.e. the smell of the grease from McDonald’s fries makes us hungry).

Next, we act out an ingrained routine (i.e. we buy the fries, and eat them); finally, we experience the reward from our actions (i.e. the salt of the fries hits our tastebuds, giving us an immediate dopamine high).

It’s when the cue, the routine, and reward are repeated multiple times to the point where they become automatic that a habit develops. This is because a new pathway is created in our brain to make the process seamless, to the point where it almost becomes unconscious.

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Photo by 𝓐𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓦. on Unsplash

During my idle time, I was creating a negative habit of sitting down with my phone and just mindlessly checking my site analytics, checking my google ads, and checking my Medium stats. In the end, I felt no more enlightened, only drained and defeated that my progress seems so slow.

I realize that to get out of this self-destructive loop of validation, I needed to make adjustments to my habit loop, primarily my routine. When I had my phone in my hand, instead of checking my stats, I would try to be productive and go to Ubersuggest to do some keyword research for my next blog post.

Sometimes I would put the phone down entirely and use my agenda to brainstorm post ideas. Basically, what I’m doing is training my brain to create a new routine to overwrite the old, negative habit.

It’s not foolproof; sometimes I catch myself falling back into my stats-validation pattern, but I believe the more I chose to write in my agenda than tap in my phone, the more likely I am to suppress my bad habit and reclaim my sanity.

So to recap, here are three things writers can do to practice patience:

1. Find a distraction

2. Delete apps from your phone

3. Retrain your habits

Do you agree? Do you struggle with being patient as a writer, and if so, how do you cope? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

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