“And if you don’t know, now you know”
— The Notorious B.I.G.
There’s a lot that I still don’t know.
A simple philosophy gets me through life and makes it easier for me to relate with others, both in my working and social life: it’s the knowledge that there’s a lot of things in my life that I don’t know.
I see my lack of knowledge as an opportunity for growth, and through my experiences I’ve found three ways to make every day a learning experience.
1) Don’t be Stubborn
An anecdote: I had recently moved to Toronto, and was getting the hang of using the TTC — Toronto’s mode of public transportation in the form of buses, subways, and streetcars.
By the first month, I found myself pretty proficient in using the bus and subway system to travel around from home to school to work.
There was one bit of travel that I found particularly frustrating. To change subway lines at Spadina station, you have to exit the train on the Bloor line, walk down a pathway for about 5 minutes, and only then could you access the other subway car that travels northbound and southbound.
I did this method for about two months, until one day I was travelling with my cousin, who had lived in the city most of her life.
“Here,” she said. “Let’s get off at St. George station; it’s quicker.”
“What? No way,” I scoffed.
But sure, enough, as we got off one stop over at St. George station, I was amazed to discover that our changeover distance consisted of simply walking up a short flight of steps to reach the platform for the other subway line.
In hindsight, I find my stubbornness a bit absurd: why wouldn’t I listen to my cousin, someone who spent more time in the city and, in this case, had more transit experience than me? If I stayed stuck in my ways and insisted we take Spadina instead, I may be still running the walkway to catch trains to this day (or at least for several months).
2) Ask Questions
Another instance occurred when I went to run an errand with one of my coworkers. A little backstory: every week I go to the grocery store to purchase apples for the company snack. I don’t mind doing the task — in fact I quite enjoy it — though I dreaded the return trip back to work. Apples are heavy; when you buy $50 worth of the fruit it becomes quite the struggle to lug them from Point A to Point B, even if said points are across the street from one another.
One day I helped my co-worker transport refreshments for a work party. This included cases of alcohol, and I contemplated how many trips we would have to make to lug such heavy items back and forth to the office.
I noticed that my colleague rolled a trolley dolly along to run the errand. As we exited the LCBO (for you ‘Mericans, it’s where we buy our liquor in Ontario) I asked, “That’s a neat little shopping cart — where did you buy it?”
“Oh, I’ve had it for some time,” she explained. “I use it whenever I do runs for supplies. Wait — how have you been carrying apples all this time?”
For the better part of two months, I needlessly suffered carrying heavy items such as apples and cases of beverages across the street to my work; I never once considered that there would be an easy solution right in front of me. All I had to do was ask.
3) LISTEN
As I get serious with my writing career, I cultivated habits that would make me more successful. I attempted to streamline my life to make the most efficient use of my time: I went to the gym first thing in the morning, I wrote every night before I went to bed, and I severely reduced my television and alcohol consumption.
I wanted to complete a rough draft of my very first novel; my life was consumed with the arbitrary goal I had set for myself to have that draft by June.
I was so determined to succeed that I developed tunnel vision and alienated myself from the people around me, most notably my boyfriend, who finally, in no uncertain terms, told me that “something’s gotta give”.
Again, hindsight is 20/20; the signs were all there that I had been neglecting my relationship, but I chose not to acknowledge them until they were presented to me in a way I couldn’t avoid.
I determined it was time to re-calibrate: I still write daily, but I’ve moved it to first thing in the morning so I can spend more time with my boyfriend, and I’ll still go to the gym, but mostly on the weekends, when I can dedicate quality time to my workouts (at the moment, I still only drink socially because, you know, swimsuit season is coming).
So, to recap: it’s okay to not know everything. Life is all about continuous learning; it’s important to embrace what you don’t know as a means of personal growth by doing the following:
1) Don’t be stubbornly set in your ways
2) Ask questions
3) LISTEN
What about you? How do you acquire knowledge when you find you are lacking?